THIS Is Why

I’m not a lawyer, or a doctor, or an entrepreneur. THIS is a 60+ hour work week. When it’s Monday night and you realize you’ve already put in 20 hours and you’ve still got five more workdays ahead of you, you know you’re in trouble.

What could possibly motivate people to do this on a regular basis? Folks talk about 80 hour workweeks and that just doesn’t seem humanly possible, do people really do that? There’s no way that they’re doing it just for money. It would mean that you really have sold your life, maybe not your soul but definitely your life.

I LOVE what I do and the flexibility that it gives me. Plus I get time and a half for every worked over 40/week so I’m looking at a good 4 days of paid leave thanks to this spring craziness, but that didn’t stop the tears that spring from pure exhaustion and questioning of choices.

Last night I left work to walk to a 2 hour meeting at City Hall for yet another advisory committee I volunteered for (well had arm twisted and gave in), and as I was walking back to the office for another couple hours troubleshooting the tears just started flowing. It was a beautiful spring night, the downtown skyline and the moon reflected in the lake below me, couples strolling along, and all I could think was that I’d inadvertently become a nun.

I’ve always been drawn towards being a nun, but there are a few big obstacles in the way, mainly not being born Catholic and wanting kids (but that’s a whole other story). As I sat in a fancy meeting room with a bunch of middle aged men haggling over wording to amendments, I looked out the window and saw girls my age in beautiful clothes laughing on their way to dates at fancy restaurants or maybe out salsa dancing and I’ve really got to question my priorities.

I devote my work and a lot of my free time towards trying to make the world just a little bit better, but have I sacrificed my future for it? When did I marry public service or at a minimum move in together? Now that I’m trying to get back into dating, how do I find someone who’ll understand the value of my commitments but help me ease out of them so one day I could conceivable spend a Sunday in bed? Inconceivable…I know.