The Lake People (Homo sapiens lacuna) - H Craig Wilson

This past Saturday, it was rather quiet at The Property after the previous weekend’s encounter with, what I shall euphemistically name: The Lake People or Homo sapiens lacuna. Are they the missing link? Are they an additional subspecies to the extinct Homo sapiens idaltu or ‘elder wise man’?

Nothing was amiss the Friday night of our arrival but there then appeared two rather large blue cocoon-like masses at the lake’s edge to be joined by three smaller pupae. One was a garish orange, seemingly designed for ease of egress but not camouflage; another was elongated and of various shades of blue-grey but with a translucent top , perhaps to allow entry of cosmic rays; and the third was by far the most complex. It was a dusty yellow but with an intricate construction design that must have put its larval inmate under great stress.

It was with bated breath that I waited to see what might emerge the following morning. To my delight, a beautiful, elegant creature emerged from the blue cocoon and I immediately recognized it as the female of the species because it was both radiant at an early hour and industrious. It was only later that I was able to observe the male-like drones emerging in various degrees of dishevelment and alertness. Had an attack been imminent from a predatory lake turtle or fire ant, they would surely have perished unless saved from the ravages by one of the early rising princess. But, to their credit, once they had imbibed a strange smelling beverage from a cooled can, each male, in his own way might have taken on the world and slayed a thousand turtles.

What really set them apart from the subspecies, Homo sapiens sapiens and denoted their aquatic ancestry were their foot fins. These appeared to be frayed strips of leather or modified skin that encased their feet and enabled them to perambulate on land, albeit slowly. I had observed a similar subspecies early last year when on a visit to Austin and had put this down to the fact that it is an island city where seemingly liberal minded and educated individuals had beached themselves, seeking sanctuary in an otherwise inhospitable ocean of Republicanism.

I spent the day taking copious notes in my journal and trying to interact as little as possible so as not to influence their behaviour in any way unlike Margaret Mead. I excerpt a few examples:
1) They ate rather strangely in that the foodstuffs of preference were all healthy with whole nuts and 2% milk to the fore, even fresh fruit was consumed instead of the proffered candy.
2) Coffee seemed to be used as a stimulant to augment or counteract the strange smelling beverage but the instant version was shunned in preference for an elaborate infusion drained through a prized tribal possession that was granted ritual status and kept in the sole possession of a loquacious male.
3) On a night hike, admittedly something way out of the males’ comfort zone (They hunt and fish by day) as evidenced by the cacophony of squeals that shattered the otherwise peaceful quiet of the woods, one fearless female seemed to engage in ritualistic snake riding as if surfing a serpent from the deep.
4) Fireworks seemed unknown to them as these were ignited in any number of ways and I have never seen rockets and roman candles fired off with such gay abandon while being hand-held, and exploded above, below, on and in the water. Their skin must be much tougher than it looks or they are protected by some divine power that decrees that water is stronger than fire.
5) When I was lost in the woods with two individuals, although close to death they retained their composure, talked through the problem, remained rational and used the sun, a device on the wrist of one of them and common sense to extricate us from our dire predicament. They obviously have tremendous reserves of self control and would never resort to recrimination. They respond well to a gin and tonic drink with lemon although it was a drink previously unknown to them.
6) The males appear to have a ‘defense-defense’ paranoia rather than ‘fright-flight’ response to perceived danger. Their acute auditory senses allow some of them to ‘hear’ non- existent intruders whereupon they grab flashlights and patrol the inner perimeter of their encampment asking the intruder to reveal him or herself. Ever alert, this behaviour has undoubtedly allowed the survival of this subspecies and should be studied further.
7) In the heat of the day, sensibly, they would congregate in small groups for discourse that would centre on weighty topics such as climate change, recycling issues, global warming, tree hugging styles etc. Of course, none of this is purely altruistic, for as a threatened subspecies, they are more at risk since their very way of life is threatened. By comparison, Homo sapiens sapiens (Thinking man?) is equally in danger but seems oblivious to any threats and, despite itself, will reap the benefits of Homo sapiens lacuna’s efforts on their behalf, however unwelcome.

This was a fleeting encounter and I feel privileged that these fine representatives of Homo sapiens lacuna would be brave enough to visit and share their unique talents and insights with a mere mortal. We wish them well. As they left no visible traces behind and there are no pictures, I now wonder if this was all only a figment of my fertile imagination…

~ Dr. H. Craig Wilson