In elementary school I’d hold my breath and fight against the urge to breathe as a I tried to race underwater to reach the far end of the pool without coming up for breath sometimes imagining that a shark was chasing me because of course then I’d be able to swim faster than a speeding bullet. Finally I learnt to embrace the water around me, keep my eye on the end goal, but to admire the beauty of the ripples of light dancing across the bottom of the pool as I pushed forward.
OK, this is starting to sound a bit hippy-ish, so let’s back it up a bit. Exhaling…
On Thursday the pressure of mounting work responsibilities and feeling like I’ve prioritized work over family was draining me, so I left. I was joking with a friend about it, and then all of a sudden something flipped in my brain and I left and it was so simple. I just walked out the door, went home, changed into a swim suit and flip flops, threw essentials in a bag (towel, sun lotion, books, beer), left my cell phone, and went to McKinney Falls. I spent the rest of the afternoon primarily alone: napping in the sun, taking pictures of rocks, having my sore muscles pummeled by the waterfall, and just letting go. After several hours I strolled back to the car with that semi-comatose feeling you get from lazing around in the sun.
At home, I threw open all the windows, took a long hot shower, danced around the apartment by myself, and threw on heels and a dress for the ballet. Instead of fighting traffic downtown, I parked at work and as everyone else was just heading home after spending much too much time in front of a computer I strolled across the Congress Ave Bridge looking at the water with the wind gently swishing my skirt. (One of the main reasons I enjoy being a girl is the feeling of a walking outside on a beautiful night in heels and a soft skirt…little known fact.)
I met my cousin Dorothy there and was thrilled to walk into the new Ballet Austin studios to find our seats were front row center. I could hear the dancers breathe, see every sinew, and practically feel their excitement of performing in such an intimate setting. At first I was a little distracted by the over the top costuming, but was quickly whisked away by the almost tribal musical score, the humor, and sensualness of the performance. It was truly what art is meant to be where people gasped, laughed, and everyone had something to discuss and not in a stilted I’m so cultured I go to the ballet and opera type way, but the type of conversation that flows and everyone excitedly pitches in their thoughts.
After lots of discussion and several hugs good-bye I strolled back across the river, and maybe did a few sashays and twirls here and there.
Sounds like a phenomenal day right, the kind you should only be allowed one of in a week?
Saturday
I spent Friday night renewing my love for salsa dancing, and woke up Saturday morning a little sore but content. Rode the new love of my life, Eva, from my home to the Gus Fruh entrance of the Barton Creek Greenbelt to help with “It’s My Park Day!” Due to a pulled back muscles I ended up checking folks in and out, answering basic questions, putting band-aids on kids, giving out t-shirts…instead of my normal gung-ho workdays of removing invasive species and hauling rocks. At first I was a bit disappointed to take a back seat to the action, but as I sat in the sun chatting with people and finding so many connections I didn’t see coming I began to really enjoy it.
When we wrapped up I had a leaisurely ride home, took a long nap with the breeze blowing over my bed, and headed out to meet some volunteers who’ve been kind enough to water 300+ trees that fell in my lap.
I got to the Austin Biodiversity Greenhouse a bit early, and strolled through rows and rows of trees that by this time next week will be distributed throughout Austin to new homes in public space. I only meant to stay 15 minutes or so to snap a few photos for a newsletter, but had such a great time talking with Jeri & Rene that I ended up watering trees and dreaming about future possibilities for almost an hour.
Now this is when the day gets really good. While whiling away the time at Gus Fruh I’d called a friend to see if I could use him for his hot tub (selfish I know). Thankfully he’s not as selfish and said of course, so once I wrapped up my volunteer time I drove up to his place and had one of the most relaxing evenings I’ve had with no pretenses, no drama, no expectations just conversation, hot water, music, laughter, food, and calm. When I got there instead of rushing off to jump in the water, relaxation should never be rushed, we got caught up on what’s been going on with each other for the past couple of months while laying on couches sipping fresca. Then we headed down to the hot tub and almost turned into prunes as we alternated between the churning hot water and the calm cool pool less than a foot away. Having only known each other a few months it’s almost eairy how comfortable we are, almost like immediate family, alternating between teasing and serious topics. Eventually, I tore myself away from the water and we headed back upstairs and I read while he cooked an impromptu dinner. As we shared an ottoman as our table and enjoyed pasta with vodka sauce, garlic bread, and French fries he thanked me for coming and said that I make it feel like home. Maybe it’s having such an amazing family and home growing up, but to me I think that may be the nicest compliment I’ve ever been given. After strolling around outside for a bit to see if we could see the shuttle passing over (I think we were late) we took a brief nap on couches, had some lemon tea, and went our separate ways. He went to join a friend’s celebration over a new job, and I drove along the Capital of TX Hwy looking at the stars before crawling into comfy pjs and getting the best nights sleep I can remember.
...and suspend the breath.
